別讓靈魂跟不上

今天看到一個女記者結束生命的事,感慨良多。******

去年,我的一個朋友也選擇了結束生命,他是清華大學的博士,

年輕,而且一畢業就進入了非常好的公司工作,妻子在讀心理學博士。

從我的角度看,實在不知道能有什麼想不開,

但他的病歷明確地告訴大家,他有很嚴重的憂鬱症。

但像我這樣的庸人,往往會看還有比我更不如意的,

然後就心滿意足地洗洗睡了,而對自己的理想很堅持的人,

要不就繼續與現實衝撞下去,要不就選擇結束生命。

其實,不時地有朋友發信過來,

叫我注意,生活與事業的平衡,也就是BALANCED  LIFE。

如果每天工作14小時、回家跟親人說不上幾句話,你覺得生活平衡嗎?

好在我不是這樣。

我一直覺得業餘時間在家陪親人散步、看電視、給親人做飯等

是最大的享受,因此覺得自己的生活還是平衡的。

但前天我讀MBA時候的同學發來的信還是叫我感慨不已:

一個著名的寺院裡住著一位非常有道行的道長。

他每天都要在傍晚6時去餵他的狗。

狗的名字很奇怪,叫做”放下”。

每到日落時分, 靜修道長就為”放下”送飯了,嘴一邊呼喚著 : “放下!放下!”

小弟子覺得很奇怪,就問道長:”為什麼要給狗起這個奇怪的名字,

人家的狗都叫阿黃、來福什麼的,為什麼您的狗叫’放下’?

“靜修道長不語,讓他們自己去悟。

小弟子就觀察老道長,終於發現:

每天當道長餵完狗後,就不再讀經書,到院中打打太極拳,散散步。

小弟子到道長面前,訴說了他們觀察的收穫,

老道長微笑地點點頭說:”你們終於明白了。

其實我在叫狗的時候,其實也是叫自己’放下’,讓自己放下許多事情。

因為人們不可能在一天內做完所有的事情,

你只要將一天中最很重要的事情做完就已足夠了。

在人們越來越習慣動輒高呼殘酷競爭時,其實學會”放下”的意義就越大。

正仿佛當你自覺遭遇滅頂挫折時,不妨手搭涼棚,

你一定會發現:天並不會塌下來。

這並不是不求上進,恰恰在於懂得放下的,才最終會贏

而整日忙碌不休的人,收穫的往往只是焦慮和疲憊。

就在今天,在我看到這位女記者的事情之前,我又看到了這樣一個故事:

有一支西方的考察隊深入非洲腹地考察,

請了當地部落的土著人做背伕和嚮導,由於時間緊,需趕路,

而這些土著人很吃苦耐勞,背著幾十公斤的裝備物資依然健步如飛,

一連三天考察隊都很順利地按計劃行進,大家都很開心。

可是第四天早上,考察隊準備出發的時候,

土著人們都在休息不走了,好說歹說就是不願出發。

隊員們很奇怪,這幾天大家相處得很好啊,

是不小心觸犯了他們還是要坐地加錢?

這時,土著人的頭領解釋道:

按照他們的傳統,如果連續三天趕路,第四天必須停下來休息一天,

以免我們的靈魂趕不上我們的腳步。

這個現代人也許看來很難理解的解釋,讓我很受觸動。

我們的生活太忙碌了,工作和生活的壓力讓我們日復一日地在趕路,

以至於我們很少停下來思考一下,就不斷地被很多東西推著走,

或者追逐著眼前的東西而去,

而我們的靈魂早已落後在我們匆匆趕路的身影後面無影無蹤。

沒有了自己我們的生活就交給了外物去控制。

又到了一周,我們是不是也放緩腳步,等一等我們的靈魂?

~~~~~~

如同…

也如同….一個人沒了靈魂

Are You in It to Win It? by Chris Widener

Have you ever heard this? “It isn’t whether you win or lose. It is how you play the game.” I am sure you have. But do you know who said it? Some guy who came in second place!

You see, I have a problem with that statement. It presupposes, or at least strongly suggests, that winning and playing the game “right” are mutually exclusive propositions. Perhaps we ought to have this as our goal as we pursue success: We want to win, while playing the game right! I totally disagree with the statement that we should win at all costs. Instead, we should do everything good that we can to win at this game we call life. And we ought to also do all that we can to help others win.

With all of that… here are some thoughts on being in the game—to win!

Any “game” worth playing is a game worth pursuing a win in. If I get into a game, I play to win. What nobility is there in playing like a slacker? What virtue is purposeful mediocrity? None! I live my life to be a winner—spiritually, financially, physically, emotionally, relationally—every area of my life! If it is worth doing, it is worth playing for the win!

It is good to win. We live in an age now where people have reacted to sore winners by saying that we shouldn’t strive for winning. Many of our schools have abandoned the idea of competition, and our educational scores show that. Kudos to all of the teachers out there who still tell their kids that they can be winners! It is good and noble to win! It is something to strive for. It is good to push ourselves, to stretch and reach for victory. It is a grand thing to want to win!

There doesn’t have to be a loser in life. Yes, in teamed competition, there are always losers (but more on that in a bit), but in life, you can all win! We can all strive for the best and give it our all to win.

Winners are the ones who move families, businesses, organizations, cities and countries ahead. Winners are the ones who push progress. You don’t think that couch potato is the one who will cure cancer or open up the next great technology do you? No. It will be a person who has chosen to be a winner!

Losing can mean winning. Just because your score in a game or contest is the least at the end of the game doesn’t mean all is lost. You can still be a winner in that you gave it your all, you competed at your highest level, you learned new skills and strategies, and you became a better player and person. That is winning in my book!

Winners help others win. That is right, good people, people who pursue winning by excellence, are also people who stop to help others so that they, too, can enjoy the spoils of victory. Pursue the win, but help others achieve all that they can as well!

Winners make everyone better. When I get into athletic matches I want to play against the best. Yes, I may come up short in the score, but I will be better because that winner will make me grow in every area of my game! Winners stretch the losers so they can become winners too!

Here’s a winning deal! Get your hands on four great Chris Widener books, all in one set! For ONLY $27, you receive a copy of Twelve Pillars (co-written with legendary success philosopher Jim Rohn), The Image, Live the Life You Have Always Dreamed Of and Above All Else, the profound sequel to Twelve Pillars. Click here now for more details or to order!

Habits by Darren Hardy

A wise teacher was taking a stroll through the forest with a young pupil and stopped before a tiny tree.

“Pull up that sapling,” the teacher instructed his pupil, pointing to a sprout just coming up from the earth. The youngster pulled it up easily with his fingers. “Now, pull up that one,” said the teacher, indicating a more established sapling that had grown to about knee high to the boy. With little effort, the lad yanked and the tree came up, roots and all. “And now this one,” said the teacher, nodding toward a more well-developed evergreen that was as tall as the young pupil. With great effort, throwing all his weight and strength into the task, using sticks and stone he found to pry up the stubborn roots, the boy finally got the tree loose.

“Now,” the wise one said, “I’d like you to pull this one up.” The young boy followed the teacher’s gaze, which fell upon a mighty oak so tall the boy could scarcely see the top. Knowing the great struggle he’d just had pulling up the much smaller tree, he simply told his teacher, “I am sorry, but I can’t.”

“My son, you have just demonstrated the power that habits will have over your life!” the teacher exclaimed. “The older they are, the bigger they get, the deeper the roots grow, and the harder they are to uproot. Some get so big, with roots so deep, you might hesitate to even try.”

Creatures of Habit
Aristotle wrote, “We are what we repeatedly do.” Merriam-Webster defines habit this way: “an acquired mode of behavior that has become nearly or completely involuntary.”

There’s a story about a man riding a horse, galloping quickly. It appears that he’s going somewhere very important. A man standing along the roadside shouts, “Where are you going?” The rider replies, “I don’t know. Ask the horse!” This is the story of most people’s lives; they’re riding the horse of their habits, with no idea where they’re headed. It’s time to take control of the reins and move your life in the direction of where you really want to go.

If you’ve been living on autopilot and allowing your habits to run you, I want you to understand why. And I want you to let yourself off the hook. After all, you’re in good company. Psychological studies reveal that 95 percent of everything we feel, think, do and achieve is a result of a learned habit! We’re born with instincts, of course, but no habits at all. We develop them over time. Beginning in childhood, we learned a series of conditioned responses that led us to react automatically (as in, without thinking) to most situations.

In your day-to-day life, living “automatically” has its definite positives. If you had to consciously think about every step of each ordinary task—making breakfast, driving the kids to school, getting to work, and so on—your life would grind to a halt. You probably brush your teeth twice a day on autopilot. There’s no big philosophical debate; you just do it. You strap on your seatbelt the minute your butt hits the seat. No second thoughts. Our habits and routines allow us to use minimal conscious energy for everyday tasks. They help keep us sane and enable us to handle most situations reasonably well. And because we don’t have to think about the mundane, we can focus our mental energy on more creative and enriching thoughts. Habits can be helpful—as long as they’re good habits, that is.

If you eat healthfully, you’ve likely built healthy habits around the food you buy and what you order at restaurants. If you’re fit, it’s probably because you work out regularly. If you’re successful in a sales job, it’s probably because your habits of mental preparation and positive self-talk enable you to stay optimistic in the face of rejection.

I’ve met and worked with many great achievers, CEOs and “superstars,” and I can tell you they all share one common trait: They all have good habits. That’s not to say they don’t have bad habits—they do. But not many. A daily routine built on good habits is the difference that separates the most successful amongst us from everyone else. And doesn’t that make sense? From what we’ve already discussed, you know successful people aren’t necessarily more intelligent or more talented than anyone else. But their habits take them in the direction of becoming more informed, more knowledgeable, more competent, better-skilled and better-prepared.

My dad used Larry Bird as an example to teach me about habits when I was a kid. “Larry Legend” is known as one of the greatest professional basketball players, but he wasn’t known for being the most athletically talented player. Nobody would have described Larry as “graceful” on the basketball court. Yet, despite his limited natural athletic ability, he led the Boston Celtics to three world championships and remains one of the best players of all time. How did he do it?

It was Larry’s habits—his relentless dedication to practice and to improve his game. Bird was one of the most consistent free-throw shooters in the history of the NBA. Growing up, his habit was to practice five hundred free-throw shots every morning before school. With that kind of discipline, Larry made the most of his God-given talents and kicked the butts of some of the most “gifted” players on the court.

Like Larry Bird, you can condition your automatic and unconscious response to be those of a developed champion. This chapter is about choosing to make up for what you lack in innate ability with discipline, hard work and good habits. It’s about becoming a creature of champion habits.

With enough practice and repetition, any behavior, good or bad, becomes automatic over time. That means that even though we developed most of our habits unconsciously (by modeling our parents, responding to environmental or cultural associations, or creating coping mechanisms), we can consciously decide to change them. It stands to reason that since you learned every habit you have, you can also unlearn the ones that aren’t serving you well.

This article was excerpted from SUCCESS magazine Publisher Darren Hardy’s new book, The Compound Effect: Multiplying Your Results. One Simple Step at a Time. To order the book or the complete six-CD enhanced audio program, go to www.TheCompoundEffect.com. While you’re there, you can read a free chapter from the book, sample the enhanced audio program, take the Life Assessment Quiz, download free worksheets that’ll help you discover your core values, take a habit assessment and more.

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